if we all marry and divorce jeff bezo we can singlehandedly distribute all of his wealth

for some reason in my (cursed? blessed?) sims game i am able to invite the grim reaper to parties, and now he regularly shows up even if i don’t invite him. he often brings ceviche. normal quality. he’s a decent party guest except for the fact that the only interaction you can have with him is to slow dance. naturally i made one of my sims slow dance with him, which gave him the notification ‘we have a lot in common! id love to get to know you better’. so anyway, a couple of days and parties later, it’s 6 am and my sim gets a phone call. it’s death. he wants to know if i want to go on a date. 

naturally my sim accepts. death takes him to the school stadium in the rain and stands outside, unable to be interacted with, while a thought bubble containing my sim’s face pops up over his head for a simlish hour, over and over again, carrying a rainbow umbrella while my sim sits on the ground and considers the hollowness of life. 

remembering that all i can do is slow dance with him, i drive him to moonlight point, where there’s a couch and a record player, and i slow dance with him for about 5 hours. every 2 seconds he steps on my sims’ foot, to the point where it was hard to get decent pictures of them actually slow dancing. 

after a while my sim got hungry so i let him go drink some juice, and death went and started reading a book on a couch. i went and sat next to him, wondering if there would be any new interactions since you get different ones when you sit on a couch or bench, and lo and behold i discovered, not only can you slow dance with death, you can also cuddle with him. naturally i did so because the quality of dates is determined by the number of positive social interactions you have with someone, and slow dancing unfortunately doesn’t give you any of those, but cuddling does. anyway, once you start the cuddling animation, you get fancy new options like kiss and make out, so my sim spent the next six hours making out with death on a shitty couch at the beach in a thunderstorm while listening to sim!bastille. 

after a couple dozen make out sessions, a single option appeared under the Romantic… heading: ‘take a romantic photo together’. this only shows up once you’re a romantic interest of someone. i have now successfully wooed death. knowing that selecting this option would make death stand up from the couch and i likely wouldn’t be able to get him to sit again, i decided to end the date at the tender hour of 3 am (i guess death doesn’t sleep) with a kiss. it takes a while- death can’t seem to figure out where to stand or how to walk around a foosball table- but eventually i get my picture.

but apparently death doesnt like having his picture taken. 

i try to slow dance again with him, but the option has disappeared. i have committed an irreparable social faux pas. i sit on the couch again in the hopes that death will resume reading his book and i can cuddle with him again, but instead he stands in front of the bookshelf for an hour. i take a break, leaving my sim to his own devices for a while while i check in on my other sims, since one of them just went into labour. i deal with that. when i return, i find my sim drinking juice in silence with death still standing in front of the bookshelf, but he’s changed into this sick new outfit in the interim. 

beekeeper chic. finally, at 6 am, death decides he’s had enough. he will never forgive me for my social blunder of taking a selfie while lipping at his shadowy veil. he opens up his rainbow umbrella and leaves. 

the date doesn’t end until i get home. i receive no date notification. death doesn’t even deign to let me know how badly i fucked up. all i have to remember my 24 hour gay liaison with one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse is a single selfie. i hang it over my sims bed, a constant reminder to him that he has achieved ultimate goth status, and a warning to the others he dates: i have kissed death, and he never called me back.

but to be very blunt and very serious - it really is disturbing how you can look at fashion magazine spreads, teen magazine spreads and other media depicting teen girl trends/fashion and see how girls dressed in the 90′s, early - mid 2000′s compared to now. 

i mean 1998 - 1999 

2002 

2003

jump ahead to 2008 

vs depictions of teenagers in media  / teen fashion and teen trends of the last few years (2015-2018)

and people always say “if you look at teenage girls and see sexualization, then you’re the pervert” but .. i just don’t get that line of reasoning. how can you be so naive to look at how media, modeling companies, clothing companies, etc are treating teenage girls ( some of which aren’t even teenagers - but as young as 10,11, 12 years old ) and say “nope, nothing to see here :) but if you call out the problem then YOU’RE the creep” instead of acknowledging that aforementioned companies are blatantly and intentionally producing clothing that is more and more revealing, less and less age appropriate, portraying girls in more sexualized ways as years go on, peddling these themes through social media, televised media, advertising, etc. i mean, that’s the same line of reasoning of “if you look at this picture of barack and michelle obama depicted as monkeys as being racist -then you’re actually the racist one for thinking that black people are monkeys!” when the artist of the photo is the one who blatantly and obviously was being racist. 

okay if I could time travel to the past, you know what I’d be most excited to see? THE QUALITY OF TEXTILES. Clothing was built to LAST before the industrial revolution and everything was HAND-MADE. We lose so much of women’s art from the archaeological record because textiles are perishable and we only get vague snapshots of what clothes and tapestries, etc, were like, and these would have been so important to everyday life! What did a hand-made toga feel like! How heavy was it! What did the tapestries hanging in castles look like! How did needlework enrich the home! Fuck! I love textiles!

man: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful?
me: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity

Like I’m not even surprised